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January 23, 2006

8:55 PM

I Know Her Just Too Well

 Two years ago, I wrote about my daughter turning 10 and myself having fears about her growing up, falling in love, and getting hurt, among other things. And how I am terrified of that one moment when I see her cry over some guy.

Days ago, I came home with Caitlin (who'll turn 12 this March) busy with the computer. That was not unusual. I always catch her chatting with friends or simply doing her Neopets thingy after school. What was unusual was the sad look on her face. I asked her what was wrong and she simply shook her head. Later on, she joined me in my room, still with a long face. I asked her again, "Is something wrong?" I thought I saw tears in the corner of her eyes. Finally, she admitted that there was indeed something not going right. "Mommy, maganda ba si D___ (referring to her friend)?" she asked. I replied that her friend was cute despite her chubbiness. And Caitlin looked "sadder."

Turned out this guy whom I shall refer to as B liked somebody else and that somebody else was her friend D. What pains her more is that her other friends knew it all the time without telling her. My daughter felt betrayed. She thought that the code name B was using in reference to his crush was, well, about her and of her. And then her friends told her that it wasn't her after all.

Personally, I don't find B cute. And I am surprised that my daughter would like him that much because I know she goes for hotties like Daniel Radcliffe and Japoy Lizardo. But respecting her tastes and preferences, I had to shrug it off. But what the heck. So I told her, "You deserve someone better, anak." I added that it's ok if the guy you like likes somebody else. You have to accept that. And then, later on, you would just laugh it off and tell yourself you are indeed better off without him. "You're beautiful, he doesn't deserve you," I said, the mother in me was talking this time. I think I told her, "Remember this. Whatever your friends tell you, don't let them hurt you. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." And lastly, "Always remember, when you and your friends fight over a guy, think about this a million times: Is he worth it? Is the guy worth it?"

Days later, my daughter was smiling again. B told her she was the one he likes after all.  Children.

At any rate, I learned a few lessons from this. That one, children will always be children. At their age, they don't really know what they like yet. Opportunities are endless, options are boundless. But young as they are, they can hurt feelings as well. They are capable of hurting their own kind. Well, my daughter was hurt. And it pained me to see her that way. I can scold my daughter a million times and even pinch her or touch her, but nobody else has the right to cause her pain. Not even that confused little boy B. LOKONG BATA YUN AH!

Well, words can hurt, too, as Caitlin would put it. "That's not true, Mom," she objected to my sticks-and-stones statement. All right. But put up a brave front, anyway.

And then, it also made me realize how well I knew my daughter. "I'm your MOM," I would always remind her whenever she seems amazed that I could tell what was going on with her. I knew if she's lying or telling the truth. I know if she's up to something. She was inside me for nine months and I've been raising her for almost 12 years now. I know her too well. A tear, a smile, a smirk, a pout. I know what each of them means. Even while she's sleeping.

I'm your Mom, Caitlin. Nothing can change that.  And I love you from here to eternity (even if you're naughty and not-so-nice sometimes). MWAH!

4 total marks.

Posted by elapot:

ang inaanak ko, dalaga na tlaga!!! .. pero oo nga bata pa :D naalala ko tuloy nung dalagita rin ako... at naalala ko pa kung sino mga naging crush ko :D
January 24, 2006 @ 4:10 AM

Posted by ate che:

thanks, ate ela! ang hirap magpalaki ng anak hehehe
January 24, 2006 @ 6:10 PM

Posted by Microsoft Office 2010:

Posted by Trevor:

I totally agree with you. At this age, they are sure going to fall for some hot guy in their school and since they aren’t old enough to make bold decisions they sure are going to make mistakes. It is our responsibility to guide them the right path.
October 19, 2017 @ 7:48 PM

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