I always like to think that my daughter and I are good friends.

That's why it saddens me when we fight. Or when we misunderstand each other. Or when she locks her bedroom and shuts me out.

The way it saddens me when she and her dad fight. Or when they misunderstand each other. And she locks her bedroom and shuts him out.

Cae is turning 15 this month. And as a mom, it is my desire to create as many bonds and experiences with her. That's why I always make it a point to be into everything she does and to get into everything she likes or wants. But sometimes, the generation gap comes in (even though our age gap is as short as Ogie Alcasid's stay in show business). Sometimes, what she wants is not always good. Or proper. Perhaps in her eyes (and in the eyes of teens like her), this or that is cool. Or this or that is perfectly all right. But you're not called a parent for nothing. Para ke pa na naging parent ka if you can't put your foot down, if you will always give in to what they want, even though you know in your heart na hindi naman nila ikabubuti, so to speak.

During conflicts like this, it pains me that no matter how I try to explain things to her, no matter how I try to be patient and calm, there are just some things which she can't or refuse to understand. Ayaw mag-sink in. And she cries and won't eat and stays in her room forever.

I always tell her, "I'm your mom and I know you too well." I could tell if she plucked her eyebrows or cut her bangs. I make it a point that she has her private time, and I don’t lurk. There are times that I understand her better than her dad does. Although I scold her and stick to my mom role often, as much as possible I would like to treat her as an adult. I like being with her and I treasure the moments I am with her, especially because I know there will be times that I or her dad may find it difficult to reach out to her.

More than once, I blogged about how my sisters and I have never been open to our mom about crushes and boyfriends. Mama has always been prim and proper, certainly not the type who will scream or gush over the opposite sex or one who understands today’s love and relationships. I could be a strict mom if the situation calls for it and I will not hesitate to give her the "homily" she deserves if she has done something wrong, but I can always be the open and fun-loving mom she prefers me to be and is proud of. “Para lang kayong mag-ate,” people would tell us.

And like sisters, I guess, we’ll have some “fight scenes” once in a while. But unlike her perhaps, I won't close my door on her and shut her out. Because I'm her mom.

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